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A PATHWAY Some things you do because "it's a good idea." Routine mammograms for instance. My physician sat opposite me, leaned forward and said, "Barbara you have cancer." After that, the doctor's voice faded behind my thoughts. Like many people facing tragedy, they turned to God. Probably, I'd be meeting him soon. I had faced many upsets before, but never the possibility of death. More than twenty years before, my brother, Gary told me about a wonderful, compassionate God and his son, Jesus. Gary had come to know and love this Son of God. When he told me that I might also know Jesus as he did, I accepted without hesitation, not knowing all the marvelous things he has stored up for those who accept him. Still, death would be so final, and the suffering... "Is this real? This can't be happening to me. I was crying inside. God, where are you? I even caught myself questioning the reality of all I knew about Him. But why should I begin questioning now, after all I'd been through for so many years, surviving extended periods of misery, often agony. It all began in an average way, a little sickness, nothing for concern. But it didn't stay average. My doctor said, "Infectious mononucleosis." At age sixteen, I was restricted to bed for six weeks with severe fatigue and a high temperature. It would be only one incident in a long list of illnesses. A few years later, my back got so sore, I was hospitalized several times with degenerated and herniated discs. In my early twenties I became pregnant and suffered nine months of nausea and fatigue. I was plagued with allergies to many foods and most medicines that were supposed to help me. I went into anaphyletic shock and had to carry an epinephrin pen to stop severe allergic reactions. Then things got worse. By sheer determination I had held a job for 14 years. Then I contracted three viruses that my body couldn't fight and was dismissed. Three years later I managed to get another job but had to leave because I became allergic to the printer toner. I was having attacks of high blood pressure and stroke symptoms. Next came fainting spells and muscle spasms. It seemed things couldn't get worse. My doctors were unable to find the root cause for these problems. And for years my immune system became ever weaker. So my declining health was always ready with some new surprise. Now I must deal with cancer. I heard, "We will need to operate immediately to keep this from spreading." The results of the surgery were devastating. Another specialist was immediately consulted. She said, "There is more cancer, an aggressive, high risk variety. You will need a bone-marrow transplant as soon as a donor can be found. Thereafter you will be in incubation for a month because you will have a zero factor immune system." She explained that the cost would be about a third of a million dollars. My husband's insurance company claimed the procedure was "experimental" and refused to pay In a word, they were saying my life had little worth. They were safe because I was too ill to fight. I felt sorry for my poor husband, knowing what he was enduring. He never complained and I knew he would go through Hell with me if that's what it would take. But unknown to us, God would intervene. One of my friends worked for a cancer specialist. At her suggestion, I talked to him. He thought we could beat it without a transplant. Still, the treatment would be severe-seven months of chemotherapy, followed by radiation. I consented, but after only one month I became so ill that he stopped the chemo and directed me to a nutritionist. She had me taking 150 vitamins per day with a diet of organic food and juices. After only a month of her program I was able to endure the remaining six months of chemo. The cancer was defeated. I credit God for leading me to that particular doctor, the nutritionist and life changing diet. What I couldn't understand was why he spared me for the next terrible blow. Herman and I had been married 30 years. He was always helpful and loving through all my distress. I honestly think I would have died without him. Now, with the cancer gone, we talked often about his retirement, how we could travel and enjoy fishing. We would finally see beautiful things together and enjoy abundance of life. Then I had to take Herman to the emergency room. He had severe chest pains and extremely high blood pressure. He was admitted for pneumonia, but a few days later became much worse. A CAT scan showed a torn aorta and a vessel surgeon was called in. He immediately canceled his morning appointment and scheduled Herman for surgery. The surgery went well but a blood clot formed and he had to be rushed back into the operating room. Herman went into a coma. The next evening his kidneys failed. A few days later his physicians said he had a stroke and would be paralyzed for the rest of his life. He continued to deteriorate for six weeks and was taken to a hospice. He never came out of the coma. My precious Herman died. I didn't want to live without my sweetheart. I cried for his death and for my own. I called out to God. And He, like a tender father cuddling an injured child, enclosed me in his arms of comfort and peace, profound and warm. And there my tortured soul found rest.. As a lamb desires its mother's milk I hungered for my God, my Father. Watching television, I learned of a healing evangelist's schedule to teach on "Jesus' healing today through ordinary Christians." I attended the classes and during the Fall of 1996 and the Fall of 1997 Jesus healed many problems: my thyroid, gallbladder and the long-term viruses. He is continuing to heal my immune system. I can now lift my dog, move furniture, bend over and take long walks, painlessly. ***** God has several avenues for healing. Sometimes he uses the hands and minds of men, medications, diet technique and surgery. Often he works miracles. No matter what your problem or illness, God has a pathway for your healing. Jesus suffered to secure our path.. How sweet the joy that attends His healing. A lifetime of grief cannot compare to nor mitigate the kind love of Jesus. He has loved you from your mother's womb. |
